Irrational buttons

[figmo]

After reading this post of cadhla's, I'm going to post my own list.

• People making false assumptions about me. I can't even begin to list the number of false assumptions folks have made about me over the years -- everything from "You wouldn't like such-and-such because you don't like this-other-unrelated-item" to "You don't like 'x' because you like 'y' when the two are mutually exclusive to "You aren't interested in [something I am interested in knowing."
• Non-communication. If you want to make me go downright ballistic, refuse to communicate with me and don't tell me why. Every instinct in my body will just make me totally cloying till you stop your assholish behavior.
• Prejudice. How the hell can you tell whether someone is a good or bad person solely on their ethnicity or religion or fill-in-the-blank? Having been on the receiving end of this kind of crap, I despise it when I see it. Period.
• People who think it's fun to be cruel to animals. I am as guilty as the next person of dispatching bugs that show up in my house, but I don't enjoy it.
• People who think their way to live is the only way to live. If there were only one valid lifestyle, we'd all be doing the same things for a living and lots of jobs would be neglected. I have ancestors who came to the U.S.A. to escape religious persecution. I have ancestors on the other side of the family of different religions. I grew up expecting everybody to be different. The "Lawrence Welk Show" was how other people lived.
• People who expect folks to read minds. Not everyone grows up with the same body language or clues. If you want someone to do something, be straightforward but tactful. If you want to get off the phone, don't say "I need to go to the bathroom." Say "I need to get off the phone."
• People who impose their own morality on you. Just because something is immoral for you doesn't mean it's immoral for me. On the same token, just because something doesn't fit in with my personal morality doesn't mean it's not okay for you. As a subtle example, I don't have any piercings or tattoos (it's a jew thing), yet many of my friends do.
• People who look down on me because my interests aren't "grown up" ones. I like comedy, science fiction, radio and TV, making music, and yes, sometimes my humor tends towards the scatological. Deal with it.
• People who are critical of my "style." I get soooo fed up with folks who tell me I "overdress" or "should wear xxx" instead of what I'm comfortable wearing or "you don't dress trendy enough" or "you should dress more appropriate for your [oversized] figure." Aaaugh!

Comments

[catalana.livejournal.com]

People making false assumptions about me. I can't even begin to list the number of false assumptions folks have made about me over the years -- everything from "You wouldn't like such-and-such because you don't like this-other-unrelated-item" to "You don't like 'x' because you like 'y'

I completely agree with this one! My boyfriend has finally given up trying to understand my taste in movies because he's always sure I won't like X and then I do. *grin* At least he's stopped telling other people "Oh, she wouldn't like that." I only had to pound on him a few times.

People who think it's fun to be cruel to animals. I am as guilty as the next person of dispatching bugs that show up in my house, but I don't enjoy it.

It is possible to kill things humanely - indeed, vets do it all the time, and there are lots of guidelines for animal research that require humane methods of killing. So I don't see any conflict here; yeah, maybe if you enjoyed pulling a wing off of a moth and watching it struggle, that would be cruel. But just killing it isn't.

People who expect folks to read minds. Not everyone grows up with the same body language or clues.

Amen. One of my mantras is "I'm not psychic." (I use this on my students to explain the importance of showing their work. I can't give partial credit if I don't know what they're doing. I'm not psychic...and, let's face it, they should be glad of that. Think how horrible it would be for your prof to know exactly what you were thinking about in class...*grin*)

People who impose their own morality on you. Just because something is immoral for you doesn't mean it's immoral for me.

Depends on what kind of moral rules you're talking about; in order to live in a society, we all have to follow some basic rules. (Like, say, don't kill random people; it's morally prohibited.) But there are other matters that are, from an objective standpoint, morally permissible - you can make up your mind about them yourself. I suspect that's what you're getting at here, but the ethics teacher in me started twitching a bit at the idea that any attempt to impose moral rules on others is wrong.

[figmo.livejournal.com]

People who impose their own morality on you. Just because something is immoral for you doesn't mean it's immoral for me.

Depends on what kind of moral rules you're talking about; in order to live in a society, we all have to follow some basic rules. (Like, say, don't kill random people; it's morally prohibited.) But there are other matters that are, from an objective standpoint, morally permissible - you can make up your mind about them yourself. I suspect that's what you're getting at here, but the ethics teacher in me started twitching a bit at the idea that any attempt to impose moral rules on others is wrong.

I was thinking more along the lines of people legislating their religions -- blue laws, whether or not to permit stem cell research, whether abortion is legal, whether same-sex marriage or even group marriage between consenting adults is legal.

[howeird]

the ethics teacher in me started twitching a bit at the idea that any attempt to impose moral rules on others is wrong.
Depends on your definition of moral. IMHO, prohibitions against murder, stealing, hanging around playgrounds with bags of candy, are moral and should be imposed on others.

It's rules which are unique to a religious group, being applied to everyone, which make me cringe.

[keristor.livejournal.com]

I distinguish between ethics, which are universally 'good' or 'bad' (killing people unnecessarily is bad, for instance, any species which doesn't agree is not likely to last ling), and morals which are based on specific societal norms (marrying your dead brother's wife is morally wrong in some cultures and imperative in others, indeed any sexual laws which are not based on genetics or on harm to a non-consenting person are arbitrary moral rules). Any imposition of a person's own moral code on another is therefore a breach of ethics...