My entry in a 419 spam haiku contest

My name is Jerry.
I'm from Nigeeria*; a
Student who can't spell

I am an orphan
My father, in the uprise,
Assasinated

Twenty-five million
In U. S. dollars awaits
My inheritance

Your good assistance
And your bank account numbers
Will make me richer

I'll give ten percent
If you prove gunuity*
Please be our partner

We await your word
Africa is no longer condusive
For us to stay here
-----
*"Nigeeria" and "gunuity" came from actual spam letters I've received.

Good stuff/Bad stuff

First the good stuff:

My wireless network at home works! I have it password protected and encrypted so nobody can break in.

Now the bad stuff:

I'm still sick. My inner ear infection has mushroomed into a full-bore cold. I am now run down and out of balance -- and I have to anchor on the radio tonight. My boss actually tried to find a fill-in but was unable to do so.