My piece for the TTTR

[figmo]

Wings

(to “Wings” by Cat Faber)

Copyright © 2003 Lynn Gold

I need protection from unwanted stares
I’m busy flowing and don’t want to share
They have panty liners, tampons with strings
But all of the napkins have wings

Fumbling to tuck it between my two thighs
Hiding my napkin from locker room eyes
What leads to confusion are those two white things
Where am I s’posed to hide wings?

   Cruel is this thing called menstruation
   I stand here in abject frustration
   I cannot keep the things from showing
   Lost here, I hope that they’re not knowing

Off to the drugstore, I’m rolling my cart
My body is leaking; don’t know where to start
There’s maxis and light days; some scented like spring
All of the napkins have wings

   Under the “Feminine Supplies” sign
   Gazing at all the different pad kinds
   Suddenly bursting through the sundries
   Wings want to fly into my undies

Walking the aisle I can see I’m alone
I don’t dare look down. I know I have flown.
My trench coat hides red as I grab the first thing
All of the napkins have wings

   Features that claim to hold the torrent
   Mine claim to be the most absorbent
   My wings are right for menstruation
   My wings are not for aviation

Wishing I’d bought them before when I could
My dripping lands on the pad really good
Extra thin maxis are such useful things
Under my clothes I have wings.

Comments

[ashi.livejournal.com]

Cool. Maybe I can hear it at a con someday. :)

[figmo.livejournal.com]

Just ask and you shall, uh, receive. It's not like you and I never hit the same cons. :-)

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Hee!
Do all the maxis have wings now? I honestly can't remember one way or another!

[figmo.livejournal.com]

I once was in a store where they only carried maxis with wings, hence the inspiration for the song.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Wings are a good thing in my world. Decreases the side-slippage.

[firecat]

That's hilarious.

Did you see the pre-menstrual filk of "Alabama Song" that I did a while back?

[figmo.livejournal.com]

I think I missed it (sigh).

Who does the original? I'm not familiar with it.

[firecat]

Here's the filk.

The original is Kurt Weill. The most popular cover that I'm aware of is by The Doors.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Lady, you're *bad*. I'm sitting here hyperventilating because I'm at work and don't dare roll on the floor screaming with laughter.

*applause and gasping*

[figmo.livejournal.com]

You should've seen the "props" -- a package of maxi pads -- with wings, of course.

When I got to the first "All of the napkins have wings" line, I whipped out the package.

During the song I opened the package, took one out, unwrapped it, and attempted to make it "fly" by "flapping" the "wings."

When I got done, several folks in the audience were yelling, "You win!"

[kayshapero]

Ok, I think it's probably about time I added a new verse to "Move over Dr. Frankenstein"... :->