figmo | My Annual Quandry (Reply)

I had my weekly phone call with Mom Saturday. As she does every year, she nagged me to "acknowledge your brother's birthday."

Mind you, my brother sent me a "gift" in e-mail I wasn't expecting with the word "gift" in the subject header. My spam filters deleted it. It was some kind of e-gift certificate. Instead of resending it, he got himself a refund.

I soooo do not want to do anything nice for his birthday. I don't want to do anything for his birthday, save for lighting Dad's Yahrzeit candle (for those of you who haven't been following, the anniversary of our father's death on the Hebrew calendar coincides with my brother's birthday).

I'm figuring I'll send him an e-card, spending as much money on him as he's worth. I now have to figure out what to have it say. Despite popular belief, I don't want to get tastelessly snarky (even though he does), but I also don't want to have it contain any sincere emotion (read: the words "happy" and "love" do not belong in this card).

Any suggestions would be welcome.