About terminations

[figmo]

This thankfully has no immediate relevance to my own work situations. A net.friend was axed from his job yesterday for "failing a random drug test." This guy doesn't do illegal drugs and has yet to find out which false positive was tripped. Eventually the conversation drifted into intuition about knowing when you're going to be fired.

After working many years in high-tech, I say it's not intuition because it's the same signs over and over again.

Some of the typical "clues" include:

• Your boss has just put you on a "plan" where you have to show up at work at a specific time, eat lunch at a specified time or in a specified time duration, and leave at a specified time.
• Your boss is suddenly unwilling to let you buy necessary things for your work and have the office reimburse you. This is especially a sign if co-workers ARE allowed to do this.
• Your boss has started collecting moving boxes, but you know the boss isn't moving.
• Your boss, who never makes you show up early for work, tells you that you suddenly need to be in for an early morning meeting to "discuss what you'll be working on."
• Your boss "invites" you to a pre-scheduled meeting with the HR person. (Almost any meeting your management initiates involving an HR person is Bad News.)
• You're at home, sick, and the boss says you "need to come into the office for a meeting."
• You get put on an impossible schedule. Some bosses will set you up for failure because it's the only way they can get rid of you. For example, if you are told you need to document software that doesn't yet exist and have the documentation done way before they even know for sure how the software is going to work, you're hosed. Note the date and time your work is due, as you can expect to be terminated any time after you turn it in.
• You get put on a "performance plan" where the criteria are subjective. Also note the date it ends, as that'll tell you the last day you have guaranteed employment.
• Your boss rushes you to complete a project early for no good reason.

When one of these signs happens, your first priority is no longer "holding onto the current job" but "finding a new job." Keep this in mind when the axe is falling, as it's something you can lose sight of in the process.

Your second priority is to get out anything from work you care about getting out with. Once the axe falls, your chances of taking things like samples of your work or sometimes even your personal belongings diminishes greatly. You don't want to take too much out at once if there's a significant time lag, as you don't want management to know you know what they're up to. One way to do it is to get the "less obvious" stuff out first, then package up and consolidate the items you know they won't question (your personal photos, your coffee mug, etc.).

Start keeping empty tote bags in the office. Always be seen carrying a full one around, usually hauling in something disposable to the office (a lunch or a snack), but always hauling out something solid. The chance of your being noticed will be negligible. Sometimes an employer won't even let you take your OWN stuff out once you've been axed.

If there are questionable items you need on a daily basis, try to get into your office the same day but an hour or two before you expect the axe to fall. You'll still have free access to your stuff, so nobody will question you. One of the items you want to get out is a list of the co-workers you care about (read: the ones who could provide references for you in the future), along with e-mail addresses and phone numbers.

If you're lucky, you can negotiate when and how you'll be axed. I've done this a couple of times and have seen others do it.

Once the axe falls, don't fight it. Instead, negotiate the terms as best as you can. The two things to go for are a good job reference and a note in your file saying you can be rehired by the company. Sometimes, alas, these have already been decided against you due to upper management policy. If that's the case, don't take it personally, but be sure to mention this when you look for your next job.

Sometimes you can negotiate changes to your severance package; most of the time this isn't an option, but you can always check.

Often you are made to sign something saying you won't sue the company. In most cases, just sign it and go unless you strongly feel you've been wrongly terminated and are ready to fight it in a court of law.

Comments

Story of my Life

[jamiethered.livejournal.com]

You get put on an impossible schedule. Some bosses will set you up for failure because it's the only way they can get rid of you. For example, if you are told you need to document software that doesn't yet exist and have the documentation done way before they even know for sure how the software is going to work, you're hosed. Note the date and time your work is due, as you can expect to be terminated any time after you turn it in.

This is the story of my life. I'm a technical writer. I am *always* asked to document vaporware. It's not uncommon to be expected to turn in your draft before the alpha version of the software is due. Then no one looks at it until just before final deadline and then complains about how slow the writer(s) are. The real key to when you're being axed in this situation is when people start to pay attention to your work before the deadline. If they are willing to change the software requirements or the user interface because you already wrote the manual, you know you're still in good shape.

[slfisher.livejournal.com]

All good points. I'd also add:

people stop talking when you show up
there's meetings you don't hear about and aren't invited to
people seem to get annoyed with you or express dislike of you or your ideas for no particular reason, or stop talking to you.

and yeah, when I got email from my boss a couple of months ago calling a meeting for the end of the day, with no reason given, I knew what was up, even before I got email from a coworker saying, say, did you get some strange email from our boss?

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

This is all great perspective and reminds me a lot of Stephen Pollan's advice (I think in Live Rich) about negotiating job situations, especially being fired. What he points out is the power that you have after being fired or even when you're in danger of defaulting on a loan:

• An employer who has fired you has just lost 99% of the power it used to have over your actions.
  
• A creditor stands to lose money from a default, too.

Yeah, I know: I read management-porn.

[keristor.livejournal.com]

Do they really not allow you to take personal belongings? If anyone tried that with me they'd hasve the police round as soon as I got out the door and called, that's theft. In fact I almost had something similar once: I had my own software (editor, etc.) on my work PC (legally), and I told them that either I was to be allowed to delete it or I'd be calling the copyright people (and knowing the amount of software that they had illegally on their machines it was no idle threat).

(If one is a programmer or sysadmin then they'll usually insist on leaving immediately and they pay the notice period. The danger of the person doing something nasty in the notice period is too great...)

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

I work in corporate security. Yes.

And typically, the police aren't going to push it. Much easier to take you in for disorderly conduct (as you will typically be hopping mad at this point) than to back you against The Powers That Be.

(A co-worker will typically be allowed to pack your stuff for you. Anything missing is just too bad. Missing data is also just too bad.)

Re: Story of my Life

[figmo.livejournal.com]

On the same token, you know you're not valued if they say "Who cares if the documentation is accurate???"

I actually had a Director who once said that.

[figmo.livejournal.com]

Eeep. Didn't realize you were sans job.

[figmo.livejournal.com]

A creditor stands to lose money from a default, too.

Not if your place shot up in value massively. My lender tried to foreclose on me once years ago because of a comedy in errors. First the state mistakenly attached my checking account for a payment I'd already made for my car registration, so I had to call the lender and explain I needed to be late. Then the next month my boss had my Direct Deposit shut off three weeks in advance of my termination because he'd planned on canning me sooner, but he couldn't because he needed me to finish my project. Since I hadn't known my money hadn't been deposited, my doubled mortgage check bounced.

My boss's actions cost me over $1k to fix. :-(

Re: Story of my Life

[jamiethered.livejournal.com]

Been there too. Also had someone ask me why we were documenting the product. Had a manager ask what it would take to eliminate all of the words in the documentation. Lost count of the number of times I've been asked why it was so long. Etcetera. I even had a vice president ask my why we shouldn't do all of the documentation in 12-point courier. He honestly did not understand why we felt that was inappropriate.

[kayshapero]

An employer who has fired you has just lost 99% of the power it used to have over your actions.

Which is why it still amuses me to think that Scott Adams was once fired by a boss who reportedly was afraid people would think he was the original of the PHB. Like... how did he expect to avoid it thereafter?