FIGMO's Follies

I heard the sad news about flowercat Monday afternoon and haven't been quite right since.

Colleen was more than a force of nature. I swear the woman had her own gravitational field! For years she was the central figure in one of the social circles in which I run. At cons, she'd plant herself in a central place and folks would come up to her all day. It hit me really hard when I realized that at least half of my close circle of friends are folks I met through her.

Colleen's SCA household used to take over a Round Table Pizza on Monday nights. Instead of football, we we put on Star Trek: The Next Generation on the big screen TV. I met many really cool people on those nights, including my closest friend out here in CA.

Colleen used to hold "open house" on Wednesdays. The door would be unlocked, and you'd come in and hang out. There were some folks who mostly showed up because she'd order pizza and they'd mooch off her and Steve, but there were other folks like myself who were there for the company and because you never knew who was going to show up or what was going to happen. When she and Steve moved to Seattle, the folks who were renting their San Jose house promised to keep "open house" going, but after a while it kind of died off. Without Wednesday Open House, those of us in the San Jose area were left flailing with nowhere to hang out on Wednesdays.

About a year or two ago, Colleen warned (her word) me that she "didn't think [she] was going to last much longer." I asked her if she'd been hanging out with Dionne Warwicke's "Psychic Friends," pointing out that we never know when we're going to go until it happens. I was afraid she was going to pull a "Harlan Ellison" and stay home "waiting to die." Ellison wasted years doing that. Colleen, however, had fully intended to make the most of whatever time she had.

I first realized her health had gone downhill when she didn't resume "Open House" when she and Steve moved first to Seattle and then to Whidbey Island. Her health had first started going downhill when she had a botched epidural when they lived in San Jose. As the years went on, it seemed like she had more and more things to contend with. Despite this, she made it a point not to let it get her down.

Colleen very much enjoyed traveling to distant places. She'd spent part of her childhood living in England, so whenever I went there, I picked up teas for her. When I went to Canada, I'd bring back cyclamates. Sometimes I'd share something I'd baked with her household, especially if it catered to a special diet. Needless to say, if someone in our crowd had a dietary restriction, I knew it because she knew it.

As her health was getting worse, whenever she'd call, I'd jump to get the phone, no matter how inconvenient it was. I might have been in the middle of loading my car or even a work meeting, but if there was a way I could mute my meeting (and cut the video feed) and get the phone, I would do so. In retrospect, I'm very glad I did.

She was also responsible for some of the funniest things I've ever experienced. When I bought an anatomically correct inflatable sheep (a "Love Ewe") for a performance at ConChord's Totally Tasteless and Tacky Revue, she walked it across the street to her local Safeway and had it inflated with helium. It didn't make it float, but at the end of that con, a bunch of us sat around "inhaling" from the sheep's awkwardly placed nozzle and sounding like Mickey and Minnie Mouse. I even banged out a few songs at her place. "L. Ron Ron" (to "Da Doo Ron Ron") spewed out when I'd seen an L. Ron Hubbard poster that said "22 best sellers and more to come" and then heard a version of "Da Doo Ron Ron" on a Wednesday night. My infamous "California Love Song" came together in roughly half an hour after Robin Baylor passed on a song idea she had but couldn't do anything with.


When she ran "Flowers by Colleen," her arrangements were legendary. She did flowers for many of the fannish weddings out here. For one wedding she would do a standard silk rose bouquet for each bridesmaid; for another, she did bouquets that had lights. For a last-minute "drive through" wedding a couple of friends did because the wife-to-be was about to lose her health insurance, she created this absolutely hysterical bouquet with things like black roses and some of the tackiest combinations of flowers available!

She also provided a "landing place" when I needed somewhere to send packages. Since there was always someone around on Wednesdays, it was safe to have stuff delivered there. I also became familiar with many catalogs through her. I could devote an entire post to catalog shopping. When a roommate of mine stole checks from my bedroom and started ordering stuff from catalogs I liked, effectively making me "persona non grata" with them, she let me use her accounts to get stuff. (This was in the days before online ordering, so it was possible for the order to have her name on it with my payment.)

Colleen's end for me was especially sad because we'd talked about what she was going to do in her kitchen when she got home. She had wanted to clean out her cabinets of old teas and spices that were no longer at their prime. We would geek over the phone about food stuff. I've been doing cooking experiments during the pandemic, making lots of stuff that's sugar-free, gluten-free, and dairy-free, and she was interested in my recipes because of all the folks she knew in the Seattle area with dietary restrictions. When someone has a future they want to go to, it's that much harder when they die.

In a nutshell:

1. Paul Metz's memorial, followed by a double birthday party.
   Can we say "emotional see-saw?" I offered to speak (I knew him a long time, got to watch him grow up, and I'm a "professional voice"). I was fried after that. dimakoi and I carpooled, shlepping from one affair to the other. We got out of the memorial later than planned because we kept running into folks we hadn't seen in ages and who we missed. When we finally got to the party, I was too tired to change into something more appropriate for the party (Hawaiian themed), even with Hawaiian shirts lying in front of me. I needed the party after the memorial, but I was frazzled.


2. Steve Jobs died.
   If I said I was surprised by this, I'd be lying through my teeth. It was a case of deja vu for me because my father lost his fight with cancer within a month of being told he had to sell his dental practice. Like Steve Jobs, Dad was a workaholic. Dad was also 56 when he died.
   
   As for Steve, I didn't really know him, but I met him on a couple of occasions and even got to chat with him briefly. He was very nice to me, although I suspected it was partly because I was one of the few reporters who wasn't asking a question that showed a lack of understanding about computers. (For the record, I asked about the pronunciation of his name; back then, you'd hear it as both "johbs" and "jahbs," and I cared enough to get it right.)


3. I made plane and car rental arrangements to go to New Jersey next month.
   I'm visiting my relatives for the first time in 3 1/2 years. Am I nervous? A little. Am I looking forward to it? Yeah. When my cousins and I get together, we kind of fall into place as if we hadn't been apart. I'm going to my cousin Sophie's Bat Mitzvah, and as usual, I've been searching for the right fabric. At the Fabric Outlet in San Francisco I found a knit ultrasuede in a smoky blue and pale pink that's sort of smudged and swirled almost like a tie-dye. It's color-appropriate for my palette and for the time of year (November). Better yet, it was 40% off! I wanted to make something with a little stretch because I expect to gain weight before the affair. I'll have been at my mother's house (aka The House Of Food) for two days, and Mom will likely want to feed me 3 1/2 years of home cooking in less than a week. Mom is starting to fill her two refrigerators and full-sized freezer with stuff she knows I'll want to consume.
   
   Btw, I'm flying into Philadelphia, so if any of you want me to shlep a care package from the Silicon Valley to your kid going to school out there (I'm not naming names, but you know who you are), please let me know. I'm taking two large suitcases, and I plan on filling one with stuff that isn't coming back with me.


4. My energy is slowly coming back.
   Once the clostridium difficile infection left my body, it was as if someone stopped sucking out my energy with a hypodermic needle. This Is Good. Sometimes I am exhausted after work, but I kick ass when I'm on the clock.


5. My kitchen appliances are all dying at once.
   Before I spend my work money on anything fun, I need a new refrigerator, stove, and dishwasher. If I had the $$$ I'd get a dual-fuel range, but I don't, so I'm going with the cheapest electric non-flat-top stove I can stand. I've been researching this, but any additional input is welcomed.

Compared to some of the stuff other folks I know are going through (esp. my fiancé), my life has been pleasantly dull for a change.

My dear friend Paul killed himself this past Saturday. I knew he was in bad shape mentally, but I hoped he'd pull out of it.

Paul was the kind of guy legends are made of. ( Stories about Paul behind the cut-tag. )The world was a better place because he was in it. I miss you, my virtual kid brother.

I just learned of saveours00j and wanted to spread the word. I'm still trying to figure out how I can contribute.

We just got the news at Conflikt about Greg McMullan perishing in a house fire. My heart goes out to kyttn and the rest of their family.

I've always viewed Greg (filkergem) as a bastion of sanity with his posts about things like exercise and dealing with his parents' illnesses. I'm in shock right now; I suspect it'll hit me harder later.